OTW: Phil Brown: A Love Letter, and various other musings
Dear Phil,
I miss you. I miss your goofy little head set. I miss your orange skin glow. I miss the "I'm in the Premier League" goatee. I miss you talking crazy women off bridges. I miss you singing like a tool when you stay up. I miss your spats with Arsenal. I miss your whole 1970's game show host persona. I miss your whole scolded child act, the "new" Phil Brown, every time Pearson told you to stop talking. I miss your reactions to blown chances and winning goals. I miss you Phil. It's not the same without you. Now we get to watch Ian Dowie. The man has to be the illegitimate son of Frankenstein and an albino, and has the coaching CV to match. He has more misses than hits. And personality? He has nothing on you Phil. Watching him manage is like watching Andy Rooney gum his dinner and then take a nap. I can't wait until this gardening leave ends Phil. Sure, your tan will be better than ever, but we need you.
Your friend, Ryan
It's been another week off the woodwork, and something really caught my attention this week. The biggest ego in American soccer media decided to drop his football club. The one thing you "can't do" in football, he did, and publicly. Now I personally feel Mr. Cohen is a snake oil salesman, and I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him, but reality is that he has a small but loyal following in a sport known for (in the States) its small but loyal following. I'm not sure if Mr. Cohen just lives the phrase "controversy creates cash", or if his denouncing of Chelsea football club is legitimate, but something about the whole thing just left me feeling dirty. (Something Mr. Cohen does often.) Instead of going negative the way Mr. Cohen always does, I figured I would take the topic and make it a little more fun. This week I thought up several scenarios on how far I was willing to go for my club. Would I sell my soul for 10 years of winning every competition we enter, knowing after the ten years ends I drop dead? In return for my clubs greatest rival never winning a trophy ever again, would I be willing to sacrifice every trophy in our future too? Maybe I'm just looking at it wrong? Maybe when I'm leaving my second club like Mr. Cohen, it would be different, but for now I just don't understand the concept. You love the club, not the owner, not the players, not the manager, the club. All of it's history. The good and the bad. Even if Malcolm Glazer, Sir Alex Ferguson, and Wayne Rooney said publicly it sickened them to know I was a Manchester United fan and they would like me to stop being one, nothing in my heart or my mind would change. But then again, I'm just a yank. The sport wasn't born into my blood like Mr. Cohen. I mean, it's not like the man would leach off a sport he never seemed to understand or care about just to make a buck and keep from working a 9 to 5, right?
Every week should have a conspiracy, and this weeks conspiracy involves some of the biggest clubs in Europe. I have a strange feeling Manchester United may bolster their attacking options next season with the addition of Fiorentina's starlet Jovetic. Fiorentina has made little secret of their desire to bring Rossi to Italy from Spain. One of the little tricks many club like to put into deals are selling on rights and fees. If Rossi makes a move, part of United's rights are to match the offer. United could use another forward. Rossi isn't it. Jovetic is an exciting young star, and his sale would grease the wheels for a deal in all directions. I love a good conspiracy, and I think used greenbacks have been slipped under the men's room door already. We'll see if I'm a visionary come summer.
Next I'd like to ask, when exactly will Steve McLaren get a job in the EPL if he wants it? For two seasons he has brought the best out of FC Twente. In his first season as second to Fergie at United (Fergie himself rarely takes training) United won the treble. At Boro he did nothing more or less than could be expected of him. Under Sven, he was again the guy working with the lads in training. Once he became the head man, he couldn't transition into the boss. He was everyone's mate. The good guy. It was the wrong time for him to take the England job. He was done for just by being attached to Sven. But the fact remains, Steve McLaren is a good coach and a good manager. Isn't it time he found himself at a West Ham, a Newcastle, a Sunderland, or another Premier league side? He's more than just the wolly with the brolly. He's also the guy with the thick Dutch accent. He needs to come home. Penance paid like Bobby Robson. I only hope that on his way out the door, if Twente asks him if he could recommend a replacement for himself, he'll tell them to call Phil Brown.
And finally, speaking of good managers, isn't it time Avram love got the credit and love he deserves? He's a good manager. Even winning an Isreali cup takes skill. Guiding Chelsea (some poorly timed substitutions in massive matches aside) to 2nd in the Carling Cup, the League, and the Champion's League isn't a fluke or player power, no matter what John Terry thinks. The class and tact he shows when dealing with some very difficult situations shows you who the real Avram Grant is. From the moment I read up on his wife and her career I knew there was much more to Avram than the undertaker, and I believe I'm right. I hope next season Avram Grant will either be managing an EPL side, or he will be managing a top club in another league. He has earned it.
Until next time, I will see you Off The Woodwork
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